I was supposed to visit the doctor's office today for a follow-up check-up after my surgery.
And to know the histopath result.
It is something I am anxious about.
No matter what one would say, a histopath is a histopath.
And it is scary.
It is the medical report that anyone would dread receiving.
Unless of course the paper would say "benign"
For some emergency reason, my doctor didn't make it to her clinic today.
Her secretary, who I sent a text message to, to confirm that I am taking a slot today texted me back within an hour after I messaged that my doctor will be out today and rescheduling me for tomorrow.
It took a minute before it registered to my brain.
It means that the last piece of suture that my doctor is supposed to remove today will have to stay another day.
And that I have to endure another day of this weird feeling knowing there is still something of the surgery that needs to leave my body so I can go ahead and feel that I am actually recovering from the operation.
And most of all, another day of holding my breath waiting for the biopsy result.
Last night, I have prayed and conditioned myself~~prepared myself for that scenario~but avoiding fear and negative thoughts.
And I went to bed feeling blessed and secure in my thoughts.
For a week now, I have been through crests and troughs...
and highs and lows of confidence that everything is going to be alright.
I am human. It is but natural to feel positive one moment and negative the next.
But I refuse to entertain thoughts now that because of this one more day, all the good hopes that I have been building have come tumbling down. Because they have not.
I see this one more day in another light.
One more day to reflect on what this sickness means.in my life.
It is one more day for me to swing by Ann Voskamp's site to chance upon How to Stop Fears From Stealing Your Crazy Joy
Today someone told me "it's OK to talk to God but if you say God talked to you, you're crazy"
But God does talk to people.
Maybe not vocally.
I have heard Him talking to me many times.
But He used the voices of other people
Or Scriptures.
Or a book, such as one written by AW Tozer.
Or a song, by Don Moen.
Or a blog, by Ann Voskamp
Like today.
"Lean back into Him.
There is this way of living: abandon all worries and abide in Christ — all is well.
The relief’s in the release of everything into the hands of God. Isn’t it all safer in His hands anyway? Abandon and abide — all is well."
The Writer says it right again.
ALL IS WELL.
I smiled as I read.
And then I heard my son playing YouTube music of Don Moen's "I will Sing" album.
My son, his name is Donn too. Don. Donn.
I got out of my room to listen closely.
"Though the fig tree may not blossom
nor fruit beyond the vines
though the labor of the olive may fail
and the fields yield no food
though the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls" [Habakkuk 3:17]
Yet, I will rejoice in the Lord.
and i will joy in the God of my salvation
Lord we determine tonight
with all that's in us
that we are going to bless your name
in spite of every circumstance we are facing
we choose to cry
we choose to bless you
Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
Chorus:
I will sing I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart
Yes.
All is well.
I will Sing.
because when life is HARDEST,
that is when you sing the LOUDEST.
The devil flees at a hymn....
Amen.
ReplyDeleteMay I add these lyrics to "It Is Well" by 4Him.
When peace like a river
Attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot
Thou hast taught me to say
It is well
It is well with my soul
Though Satan should buffet
Tho' trials should come
Let this blest assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul
It is well
With my soul
It is well
it is well
With my soul
My sin
O the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin not in part
But the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord,
Praise the Lord, O my soul!
And, Lord,
Haste the day when the faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll
The trump shall re-sound
And the Lord shall descend
Even so, it is well with my soul
It is well
With my soul
It is well
it is well
With my soul
This is a song that never fails to encourage me and touch me whenever I hear it. May you likewise be encouraged. Praying with you, friend.
thank you very much for reminding me of this song. Years ago, when I was just diacovering the.beauty of praise songs, a foreign missiionary gave my family a cd of traditional praise songs and It Is Well was one of them.
ReplyDeleteThank you for praying with me.:)
Hmm, thank you. Beautiful song. I don't know how someone can sing that without crying. I think it was Ann V who shared a story about a woman who had a terminal illness. This woman shared with Ann that when the pain becomes unbearable, she sings. One day Ann called and the husband answered the phone. She asked how the woman was. He replied, I think she's doing well. She's singing all the time. Tears. Yes, when we praise in the midst of pain, the enemy flees.
ReplyDeletePraying that the Lord will give you the peace that passes understanding.
P.S. By the way, thank you for changing the setting. It is much easier to comment now. Uhm, here's another request, can you set it up so that I can subscribe to comments, too? I don't want to miss any of them. (Demanding friend, I know.)