Now Showing: Iron Man and the Full Armor of God

(my notes from Part 1 of CF's current series, "At the Movies" - message delivered  by Pastor Todd Mullins    July 16, 2016)

I have never before thought about picking up Biblical "nuggets" of wisdom from a sci-fi movie like Iron Man. 

Truth be told, I have never seen the movie. 


I am not big about movies. 
Sometimes I would go on binges like that one time I went to see consecutive issues of the Bourne series and The Terminator. 

But it never stirred any lasting interest to watch more. 

I admire people who can sit through an hour and a half to two hours of a full-length movie. I just cannot bring myself to want to do it whether alone or with friends. 

But this weekend's opening of the AT THE MOVIES series at Christ Fellowship somewhat flicked a switch. Pastor Todd has indeed culled so much wisdom from the movie and he did not even cover it in its entirety. 


I like word play. 
And I like the way STARK REALITIES made its way into my consciousness. 

Realities are truths that confront us that often rouse us and bring us to a realization of what we have been doing wrong in our lives. Calling it "stark" gives it an even heavier weight. 
Sheer, utter, downright, complete, rigid, etc. 


Pastor Todd summarized the stark realities in our lives that we could deduce from the movie. 


We all build bombs in our lives at different paces and strengths. 
Some we build slow, some we build fast. 
Some explode and cause only a little jarring while some others give a blast. 
Tony Stark builds bombs big time and it only took some time till it caught up on him and blew his life. 


Quite literal for Tony Stark, before the bomb blew up his life, he managed to get a glimpse of the "STARK INDUSTRIES" written on the face of the bomb. 

The first stark reality is that "what blows up my life often has my name on it" 

It is a modern day version of Matthew 26:50-52 

     50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.” 

     Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. 51 With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear. 52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword".  


It is easy for us to ignore our responsibilities. 
This is how we build the bombs that will someday blow our lives away. 

Just like the Bible's Prodigal Son, we hurry towards the finer ends in life. We fast forward to what we believe is what would make us happy. 

So we ask for our inheritance in advance and squander everything until one day the bomb we slowly built explodes and tears us into unrecognizable pieces. 

In the parable of the Lost Son, Jesus said in Luke 15:17
      17 “When he came to his senses...

Tony Stark, at the press conference, said.."I had my eyes open..." - somewhat suggestive that his eyes were closed, blind to his own indulgences. 

This was when he "came to his senses..."


When we have mess-ups and failures in our lives, can we open our eyes? can we come to our senses? Can we OWN our part? 

We must. 

Because when we own up it opens the door so we can change and come out stronger. 


After the blast, Tony Stark was surprised to have come out of it alive -- but he woke up with an electromagnetic reactor attached to his heart. 
It was put in place to keep the shrapnels from entering his heart. 

This brings us to Proverbs 4:23 
Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.


Why "guard" our heart? Why protect it?  
Because it is impossible to go through life without pains. 

Once our eyes are open, we would want to change. Like in the way that Tony Stark transformed himself from self-indulgent to self-sacrificing. 

Psalm 119:9

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word.


God's word is the reactor that will keep the "shrapnels" from entering our hearts.


Humans as we are, we beat ourselves and bring ourselves down - thinking we have done the unforgiveable. 

But it is important to understand that "your worst moments don't have to define you"

We do this all the time -- patterned after the Prodigal son. 

When the son realized his mistake, he went on concluding that:

Luke 15:17-19
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’  

He already got it figured out that he was unworthy to be his father's son and would be happy if he could make him like one of the hired servants--thinking that his worst moments have already defined him-- not knowing what was actually in his father's heart. 

 To continue: in

  Luke 15:20

20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.


The prodigal son had already decided that he was sinful and was ready to accept punishment yet he was quickly forgiven by his father and had better things for him. 

Luke 15:22 
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.


These passages in the Bible teach us to press on and not let our past define us because when we hold on to our history, we do it at the expense of our destiny. 


So what then, does Iron Man equate to in the story that reveals stark realities in our lives? 

That "only you can be the Iron Man in your world". 

The Iron Man that is clad in state of the art, ultra modern suit strong enough that it could repel outside forces. 
A technological breakthrough that if we dig deeper, was probably inspired biblically. 

Ephesians 6:11
 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


Unlike in the movie, there are no blazing special effects as these words are spoken. 
No robotics that puts all the components of the IronMan suit together. 
But the power of the Armor of God comes from God so we better SUIT UP.

 Without the suit you can't be IronMan. Without the Armor of God, you cannot be a soldier of God. 

"Truth is, I am IRONMAN", so said Tony Stark. 

OWN IT. 
Because if you're going to take a stand for anything, you have to FIGHT FOR IT. 


Because you are IronMan, not Superman who had to hide underneath the disguise as Clark Kent.
It would be troublesome to have to look for a telephone booth to transform into Superman before you can fight the kryptonites of the world. 


Step up to be IronMan. Reveal your Ironman suit in everything that you do. In the open.

In your relationships: 

Philippians 2:3 
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

In your marriage: 

Ephesians 5:25 
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her


About your children: 

Ephesians 6:4 
Fathers,do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

In your jobs: 

Ephesians 6:7 
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people,


This we should bear in mind: 

Heroes aren't born, they are made. 
God made us for this and He left a manual in how to make IronMen out of each one of us.


The next time I watch a movie, I will look out for nuggets of wisdom. 
They are indeed present-day parables just like those that Jesus used for three and a half years. 

 I want to look for burning bushes and mustard seeds and five loaves of bread and two pieces of fish...the prospects are endless...

let your light shine

(my notes from Part 3 of CF's current series, "Jonah" - message delivered by Pastors Todd Mullins/Daniel Young, May 28, 2016)

Pastor Todd Mullins' last sentence in his video message still echoes in my head
"Let your light shine"

Let your light shine - I can't echo it loud enough. 

Let.your.light.shine - I can't stress it enough

LET.YOUR.LIGHT.SHINE - I can't punctuate it enough


The message resonates with me so well. 
I was hit. 

And i am sure that many others were hit. 
All the Jonahs of the world...
and in the world 

...who have been called and chose to flee. 
...who were called and fled 
...who were called and missed the instructions 
...who were called and ignored the calling 


them who thought the story of Jonah was about Jonah 
them who thought the story of Jonah was about the whale 
them who thought the story of Jonah was about the Ninehvites

they didn't get it 
that the story of Jonah was about God 

How great is it that our God is a God of second chances..
and third chances..and fourteen chances....

so that even if we fail to recognize his calling
we still get chances to turn around and heed it on the nth time 

Yes, how great it is that God gives us Groundhog Days

so that we can do things all over again 
or..that we can go back and choose a different action for the same situation 

so that if we missed His call the first time or the second time or the third time he called,
We are called again and given the chance to heed the call on the nth time 

Because the event of calling would recur many times ...until we finally choose to change our response 
Because finally, we would come out of hibernation and out of that hole we retreated to 


Many of us would finally do a 180 when we find ourselves drowning 
...and gasping for air 
flailing our arms looking for something to hold on to 

it is the same with spiritual drowning.

we slowly smother ourselves 
burying ourselves in the pit of sins 
right in the depths of the sea of sins

and we don't recognize it right away 
we stay there to hibernate
we mistake the joy of hibernation as the good life 

until we slowly lose air 

gasps...
gasps...
gasps...

we are drowning spiritually 

and just when we thought we are ready to heave our last breath 

God calls....again

for the nth time


and then we see the whale engulfing us

and inside the belly of the whale, we change our 

posture
perspective
path 

and the whale vomits 


 "...And the Lord spake unto the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land." (Jonah 2:10)

 "And the word of the Lord came unto Jonah the second time, saying,..."  (Jonah 3:1)


Truths

God will call you out to call you up 
God calls you because he chose you
God calls you for a purpose 
God equips you 
God sends you out to shout his name 
God chose us for something new...
...something better 
...something GREAT


22 years ago, I was called
The first call was wrapped in swaddling clothes 
I called him Jonas, the last of my three children 

I did not even know it was a call 


Over the years he sent storms:
some mild storms
some fierce 

he sent floods 

in some I managed to keep my head above the water 
in some, I swallowed murky water that made me sick 
...sick to the bones 
...sick in my gut 

if He ever sent a whale
I never recognized 

I had to be drowning before I was able to recognize the whale 

Because in the depths of sin, in the depths of the ocean of sins 
is where you can see whales 

When you are fighting for your last breath of air 
Is when you see the outline of a fish 
...fish big enough to swallow you whole 

In between gasping for air and struggling to swim into the surface, 
the movie of my life started 

in between treading shallow waters of sin
God was getting me equipped 

He provided me with the gift of writing 
He sent people to equip me physically 
I was provided the tools for writing 
but I was still blind about the purpose 

and the gift fell into my hands 
which I used in vain 
I trampled the pearls that God gave me 

6 “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces. (Matthew 7:6New King James Version (NKJV)


I was the biblical dog...and the biblical swine ...we all are...
who were thrown pearls and trampled them under our feet 


I was like a child who was given crayons 
and drew stick figures on the wall, 
instead of using them in my coloring book 


or the teenage band player 
who played blasphemous music instead of praise 


or the preacher who was given the Bible 
and started preaching about material prosperity 
instead of proclaiming the Gospel 


We missed the purpose of our calling 

Because we did not recognize the whales 

And our God of infinite chances and infinite grace never tires to call us again 


I had close calls
They were instances when I thought I was ready to obey God 

I used my writing skills 
here: 
http://onethousandverses.blogspot.com/


and here: 
http://inmybrokenness.blogspot.com/



Inspirations came in spurts...

...bursts 


Random
Intermittent 
Sporadic 
Fragmented


And God disguises whales too.
Because I avoided the waters. 

I kept missing the whales, 
so he put a lighthouse in my path instead

my very own lighthouse 


I will shout because I have something great to shout about 
I will get loud because something amazing is new and fresh in my life 


MY.VERY.OWN.LIGHTHOUSE 




My payer is for God to give me the conviction to say that:

I am SAVED. 


and that I will never forget that I am saved and from what I am saved. 

in the belly of the whale

(my notes from CF's current series, "Jonah"  - message delivered by Pastor Todd Mullins, May 21, 2016) 

(Image from Sunday School on Pinterest) 

Disobedience comes  with a pretty high price tag.


When we choose the easy way out, three things happen:
One, we lose out
Two, others lose out because of our losing out and
Three, we realize that the easy way out is not really easy.


The short cut to Jonah's story tells us that he ended up being brought back by the storm and eventually sent to Nineveh to obey God.


But that didn't happen automatically.


Things happened inside the belly of the whale before Jonah was able to get out of it.


It is worth saying again.
That humans as we are, we busy ourselves analyzing how Jonah survived in the belly of the whale.


Realize this: 
God appointing a fish to take care of a fool is no big deal.

It is a small miracle coming from the Authority who spoke the earth, and everything in it, into existence

Because no matter how hard we try to find a flaw and express doubt in the miraculous, it would not strip God of His Holiness and Authority.


Inside the belly of the whale for three days and three nights,  things CHANGED,


For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. (Matthew 12:40) 


There are things that must change for Jonah to get out of the belly of the whale.
And it is so reassuring that even when Jonah messed up, God still answered his prayer.


Then Jonah prayed unto the Lord his God out of the fish's belly,2 And said, I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the Lord, and he heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice. (Jonah 2:1-2)


In the belly of the whale, while it is being tossed up and down and round and round the rough seas, there was no one that Jonah could turn to.

Not the sailors for they have been the ones who had thrown him overboard, in the first place.

No one.
But God.



That instance of being swallowed by a whale--
 it is easy to regard it as a punishment

But it is not.

In fact, it is a provision for Jonah's rescue.


The first thing that must change before we can get past our past is :

to change our POSTURE in prayer.



For thou hadst cast me into the deep, in the midst of the seas; and the floods compassed me about: all thy billows and thy waves passed over me.
Then I said, I am cast out of thy sight; yet I will look again toward thy holy temple. (Jonah 2:3-4)


Jonah's prayer posture in the belly of the whale was such that he was looking toward His holy temple

Look again toward thy holy temple


When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek (Ps. 27:8)

Seek God's face

Look toward the author and finisher of your faith
Don't run from God; instead , run TO God


don't let that set back set you back
don't let that mess up mess you up

for all we know, that setback is a set up for a come back

And as Jonah changed his posture in prayer, he also changed his PERSPECTIVE


But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the Lord. (Jonah 2:9)

Sing praises.
Choose to worship.
Let praise invade your problem

Even if we are in the belly of a whale.


Because salvation comes from the Lord.

Prayer and Praise

Don't look at the PROBLEM
Look to the PROMISE

Does God have our attention?
Don't make God get our attention the hard way

Are we listening to Him?

Listen.

Maybe He is giving us a leading on how to solve a problem
But we choose to do it our way

Do we play like God in praise
Yet play like the devil on party night?

Surrender to God before we find ourselves in the hard place
Make God first.


Witness how God gives second chances


And the word of the Lord came unto Jonah the second time, saying,
Arise, go unto Nineveh, that great city, and preach unto it the preaching that I bid thee.
So Jonah arose, and went unto Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord. Now Nineveh was an exceeding great city of three days' journey.
And Jonah began to enter into the city a day's journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.
So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them.
For word came unto the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, and he laid his robe from him, and covered him with sackcloth, and sat in ashes.
And he caused it to be proclaimed and published through Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste any thing: let them not feed, nor drink water: (Jonah 3:2-7)


When the whale vomitted Jonah into dry land, God issued his instruction a second time.

Jonah was sent to Nineveh and according to God's word, Nineveh was overthrown.



 Change our PATH  through obedience

The lesson from the story of Jonah tells that
disobedience is the quickest way to delay our destiny


You can't become new person if you live your old life

Make a U turn

Look up and hope again

Turn WORrying into WORship

God wants us to make a U turn

Don't miss your destiny because of a detour.
Don't let your past keep you from your future

Anytime you focus on your history
you do it at the expense of your destiny


Jonah's story is a message of grace and hope


Respond to the message.

never too late

(my notes from CF's current series, "Jonah"  - message delivered by Pastor Todd Mullins, May 14, 2016) 

It is never too late to be who you could have been...


The book of Jonah speaks in the first Chapter:

Now the word of the Lord came unto Jonah the son of Amittai, saying,

Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry against it; for their wickedness is come up before me. (Jonah 1:1-2)


He was a prophet of God being asked to go to Nineveh and preach. 


But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord, and went down to Joppa;and he found a ship going to Tarshish (Jonah 1:3)

Instead, he ran away from God. 

What was he thinking? 
That he could hide from God in Tarshish? 


so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord.(Jonah 1:3)


Did Jonah think that he could really get away? 

But the Lord sent out a great wind into the sea, and there was a mighty tempest in the sea, so that the ship was like to be broken. (Jonah 1:4)


We know the rest  of the story.

After the ship crew had thrown away stuff into the water to lighten the ship so they won't sink, the storm continued raging. So they asked among themselves who could have been responsible for that calamity. To which Jonah admitted that he was the one the Lord was after and asked to be thrown into the sea. 

Then the sea calmed. 

Only with obedience did the wrath of the sea dissipate. 


We can question all we want the veracity of this story. 


Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. (Jonah 1:17)

Scholars question whether it is even possible for a man to be swallowed by a fish and stay alive for three days 

They keep digging and digging and missed the message  


That is so human of us.
To busy ourselves with the ways of the world that we miss the ways of the Lord

As if finding what they think is  a flaw could strip the Lord of His holiness


And this is what the enemy uses to lure us to sin 

The Enemy plants seeds of doubt and make our paths laden with things that would make it easy for us to disobey God 

God's ways are simple but they aren't always easy 

God's simple instruction was for Jonah to go to Nineveh and preach.
But it isn't easy. 

Nineveh is today's equivalent of Northern Iraq where you can find the most brutal people. 
Their ways in times of battle are cruel. 
One could understand why Jonah chose to flee. 

And the enemy made it easy for him to run away. 

But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord, and went down to Joppa; and he found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord.(Jonah 1:3)

An available ship
Money for fare 

Off he went. 


But there are hidden messages there. 
Whenever you went from God, you always PAY for it (so he paid the fare)
Anytime, you disobey, it will always bring you DOWN (and went down into it)

And this sin of disobedience will take you farther

Like Jonah when he had to be thrown out into the sea --farther down where a huge fish could find him and swallow him. 


 We always choose to take the easy way out 
And when we choose the easy way out, we MISS OUT on the opportunity to be used by God 


Yet we say we are God's children. 
We claim that we belong in the family of God..
That we are believers

When the ship's crew realized that someone on the ship was responsible for the calamity, 
Jonah admitted he was the one.

And he said unto them, I am an Hebrew; and I fear the Lord, the God of heaven, which hath made the sea and the dry land.(Jonah 1:9)

I am Hebrew and I fear the Lord 
I am Hebrew and I fear the Lord 
I am Hebrew and I fear the Lord 

Let that reply sink in.
To claim that he was Hebrew--that he was from God's tribe, 
To claim that he feared the Lord 

YET, he fled when God asked him to go to Nineveh

It is the same as saying: 
I am from God's land, I fear him. I will run away from him because what he asks me to do is difficult. 

That is indeed an easy way out. 
And when we take the easy way out, we don't only miss out on serving the Lord, 
we also cause others to lose out. 

By Jonah disobeying God, the people of Nineveh lose out on being saved. 

When we sin and flee from God, we prevent His work being done through us 
Jonah was being commissioned to be God's ambassador 
AS though God is making  his  appeal through Jonah

Our sin impacts other people in our lives. 
A divorce impacts the lives of the children caught in between fighting parents 

What is our sin costing others? 

Corruption in the government impacts the lives of constituents who are forced to live in poverty because the corrupt government officials chose to put the funds in their own pockets 

All sins have repercussions in the lives of the people around us, if not our own lives 

When we take the easy way out, truth be told, it is NEVER easy.
It is NEVER easy. It cannot be punctuated enough. 

God will send storms -- so that come hell or high water, we will know that we are being pursued by God 

But even these storms are not meant to break you. 
God used the storm to BRING Jonah back.
This is how storms are used in our lives to bring us back to the Lord. 

So that we may learn the lesson in the fish that swallowed Jonah

God knew that the storm is going to get Jonah. 
Imagine God giving instructions to the big fish 
"Go. Save Jonah. Swallow him." 


These are of course not the exact words of instruction 
but nevertheless, the big fish obeyed. 

The fish was more in tune with heaven. It knows to not complain and just OBEY. 

See? 
When we choose the easy way out, it is NEVER easy. 

Because there could be storms and fishes that could swallow you. 


Let us remember, that everyday a ship is going to pull up and offer us an easy way out. 
The enemy makes sure that the options for an easy way out is always available. 
In a way that it would be easier to choose the enemy's offer. 

When we are in tune with God, we learn to recognize the ship.

In our lives, many of us are maybe at different spots now
Some of us are standing on the dock thinking whether to set foot on a boat/ship. 
Some of us have already paid the fare 
Some of us are already in the belly of a whale. 

No matter where we are already at, we can always repent and pray. 
Being on our knees is always a good thing
Our battlecry: Fight your battles on your knees


And then we can TURN BACK 
Do a 180. 

Make it right with God 
And OBEY



It is never too late to be who you could have been...

Because when we are called and we choose to run away, 
Chances are, we would be facing a storm that'll bring us back 

So that we can make things right 
and we could be who God wants us to be. 

It is never too late to turn back.


The decisions we make today determine the stories we're going to tell tomorrow

A short lesson about COMPASSION

I heard a sermon given at a pastors' conference about human trafficking ~children being slipped out of their home countries to another country to be sold and raped multiple times.

It is bad enough that they were illegally "shipped" to another country to be raped there. The image the speaking pastor painted in the listeners' mind was tragic. Sixty young girls shipped out in a small "container". Before they even reach their destination, thirty of the young girls have already died. After "serving" as sex slaves for multiple men, these 30 young girls were then shipped to another place and on their way out at sea, there was a group of coast guards on the ship's path and fearing that they would be checked or questioned, they threw all 30 young girls into the sea to drown. Only 5 survived.

!!!!!

Truly, who would not be moved by this tragic story?
Truly, it would evoke compassion in the hearers' hearts.

But what is COMPASSION?
Is it compassion to feel sorry for these young children?
Is it compassion to shed tears for the plight of these children?


I love how the pastor used the verse in Luke 14:

"But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind" (Luke 14:13)

Too many times, we throw banquets and invite only our friends, brothers, sisters, relatives and rich neighbors.

Whereas, Luke 14:12 says:
"Then Jesus said to the host,"When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends or brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors, if you do, they may invite you back and you will be repaid"

And this pastor, he said:
                 "Let us spiritualize and argue~I think it means a "banquet of the heart". I think it's a heart attitude~you walk by the poor and you go: "I'm having roast beef with you in my heart"

!!!!

So true.
Is this compassion?
Is it compassion to feel at the bottom of your heart that you would like to share a meal with the poor?
Is it compassion to say it in your mind that you are enjoying roast beef in your mind with the crippled or the blind?

Compassion is not COMPASSION until you actually do something about it.


Until you actually take a step to help rescue young girls from human trafficking.
Until you actually share a real meal with the poor, the blind, the crippled....
Until you actually move and take action for the good of the less fortunate
Then that is COMPASSION.

My Thanksgiving

 "...And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive..." (Matthew 21:22)


It was a journey.
My journey.

I have walked through this path before.
But I lost my way and took on a different path.

On and off.
I kept getting bumped out of the straight path.
Lured away from it by the busyness of the world.
With always a ready excuse...
a justification for not doing what I should do 
and a justification for doing what I should not do.


 "The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows" (Luke 21:47) 


I knew what God wants His children to do.
I knew what God asks of His children.

Obedience.


"But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. (Luke 12:47-48)

I cringe.
I have long accepted Christ in my life. 
I have long known about His love.
I have long known about His grace.
I have long known about His faithfulness.


I am one like the many others who have known Him and accepted Him 
but who fell out of the right path, anyway. God expects more from me.

I am one of them.

I am one of them who have approached the Throne of Grace many times before.
I am one of them who kept running away even after knowing and receiving God's grace
I am one of them who run not because God will not forgive but who run because they know God will ALWAYS forgive. 

We run because we are ashamed to ask AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN


But God is good. 
And His goodness is not because we are good. 
His goodness is because HE IS.

God gives Himself to all of HIS children 
He is infinite.

It is not as if God's grace and mercy will ever run out that if all His children will ask for it, only some will receive and some will not.

"An infinite God can give all of himself to each of his children. He does not distribute himself that each may have a part, but to each one, he gives all of himself as fully as if there were no others" (AW Tozer)

The trials we experience in our lives are like a nudge from God. 
They are His ways of gently pulling on the "leash" that connects us to Him.
We are indeed on the other end of a very long leash ~ so long that we could stray and depart from the path that God appointed us to tread on as if there was no leash at all.
But when we get too close to danger, He does pull on the leash and draw us near Him again.

We even resist His nudges.
But He remains patient with us. 
Because he wants to build our faith and He wants us to develop perseverance. 

 "Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience". (James 1:3)

James, a servant of God said:
  ^"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance" (James 1:2-3)

This is what my journey is all about.
The constant falling off the right path.
The straying on the other end of the leash.
The resistance to the nudges.
The constant approach to the Throne of Grace

Human nature.
When we experience trouble, we approach the Throne of Grace.
We seek and we find.
We ask and we receive. 
We knock and the door is opened to us.

And then we will tread the right path.
Until we find ourselves straying again.

My journey. 
My life.

I experienced the NUDGE very recently.
A trial. 
A life-threatening trial.


And this even happened while I was not totally going astray.
In fact, I have been reading His words. 
I have been writing verses from what I have read. 


But I was LUKEWARM.
I was neither here nor there. 
And I know that with matters of faith, there are no in-betweens.
And that partial obedience is DISOBEDIENCE.

Live the Word, not just Read the Word. 
That is the difficult part. 
This is where we need the memory of an elephant.
So that what we read will be retained 
and will constantly remind us to live what we read.
LIVE WHAT WE READ


God is faithful.
God is merciful.

Through this life-threatening trial, I approached the Throne of Grace once again.
 I did not get a quick answer.
And the wait was painful.
But God developed patience in me.
And He gave me His peace.

I did worry. That's human nature at work.
But I did not kick and scream.
I did not panic.

I sought His wisdom, hoping to see His will for me.
He taught me patience.
He taught me to persevere.
He taught me acceptance.

I prayed for courage.
I prayed for deliverance.
I prayed for Him to change my heart.
I prayed for fear to leave my heart.

"Fear NOT"  
 The phrase mentioned in the Bible 365 times. 

He taught me: 
Do not fear. Every. Day.

He gave me peace. 


 "...And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive..." (Matthew 21:22)

I asked in prayer for deliverance.
For the histopathological report to reveal negative for malignancy.

The report took a long time to arrive.
I was given a date to check. November 5.
The doctor told me to wait another day.
November 6.
And then wait another week.
November 12.

Two weeks.

While waiting, I basked in the Lord's peace. 
I found JOY in reading His Words and penned out poems
I created a new blog chronicling my faith journey ~
That in my brokenness, I found GRACE  

I searched my heart for fear ~ all I saw was a faded shadow of it. 
Deep in my heart, I felt that I have received what I asked in prayer.

I set aside my waiting and prepared to celebrate my son's birthday with a Bible Study group that we had started attending.
Excitement! I saw an area where God's work can be done.
Young boys. Teenage boys attending the Bible Study.
I pictured my two boys serving the Lord.
Growing their faith and ministering to other young boys.

November 19, my son's birthday.
Early morning, I felt a prompting to call my doctor's secretary to ask if the histopath report is already available.I have sent her a text message the past week and she never replied. I didn't push.
So I called her on November 19.
She said yes the result is available. 

Did I see a shadow of fear? 
Yes I did.
Facing the moment of truth, there was a rush of mixed emotions.
Fear was one of them.

It was still early and the doctor's office won't be open until four hours later. 
So I went on with the day's chores. If I could only take the mixed emotions in my hand, I would put them in the shelf~ away from my body.

I started cooking lunch.
The frying pan caught fire ~ about a foot high.
I was startled. 
And the first thing that I thought of doing was to blow the fire out like I was blowing out a birthday candle.
If that didn't work, what would I have done next?
But it worked.
Fire out.

Cooking done, I went back to my desk. 
Opened my Bible. Psalms 84:11
This verse kept coming up.
I meditated on it. 
And then wrote my poem # 57 Sun and Shield

I closed the Bible.
Shield. Sun. 
What is God's image?
I have been struggling to remove the image taught to me by the old religion. 
I thought~ burning bush, pillar of cloud by day, fire by night; tongues of fire.


FIRE!

I had a brief visual whiff of the presence of God. 

I knew!

Outside the doctor's office, I looked at other patients waiting. My doctor shares her office with another oncologist, so most of the patients in waiting are cancer patients. I saw a few of them wearing facial masks and bonnets. My heart sank. The reality of sickness that could bring death of the physical body gripped me. 
The line that divides the possibility that I have cancer or I don't is a thin line. 
I have asked God in prayer for my deliverance. I leave it to Him. His will be done. 

Two hours in waiting.
Finally I was called in.
I had images in my head about my doctor's facial expression.
And maybe a whiff of her voice delivering the news.

She was so casual holding several sheets of paper in her hand. 
"The biopsy report is  GOOD...." 
She placed the paper down on the table and pointed at specific words ~ I did not understand a thing.
I was praying in my head - a prayer of Thanks. 

The Bible Study on the night of November 19, 2012 is a testimony of God's faithfulness and grace. 
It is MY THANKSGIVING.



 "...And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive..." (Matthew 21:22)

In Jesus' name....

Amen.